An Open Letter to my Dad who passed away
5:42 AM
It's already more than a week since you left me..us and everyday sadness hit me.
Pa, I can
remember when I was little and only had eyes for you. When I always want to be
by your side even on your drinking “inuman” sessions, interrupt your photo
session with Ma just because I want to be included. When I sit back and
remember all the countless times that you carried me on your shoulders, I am
convinced that God knew what he was doing when he chose you to be my dad.
You used to
be the one who wake me up every morning and said, “Neng gising na, mainit na
yung tubig mo panligo” (Neng, time to wake up now, you warm water is ready”.
Whenever I
got home from weekends gimik, instead of saying “where did you go?” you just
said “have you eaten yet? Let’s eat” . If you feel I don’t like the food, you
will cook for me.
You were very responsible. We are at the right age to live on our own - to do chores on our own. But you will go home even you’re at the middle of your drinking session just to cook for us, to prepare food for us.
You were very responsible. We are at the right age to live on our own - to do chores on our own. But you will go home even you’re at the middle of your drinking session just to cook for us, to prepare food for us.
You are
very masculine, but you were the one who always bought my napkin, and even do
the laundry for me. And ask for your allowance to buy your alcohol drink or
even bet on cock-fighting. We used to argue before, coz you spent so much money
for your vices. But I never thought you were so proud whenever I gave you
money. Even on a small amount.
Pa now that
you’re gone, who will be my superhero? Who will be the one to do everything for
me? It’s hard; it’s really hard to accept. I don’t know when and where to
start. I used to wake up every morning looking for you – even go home looking
for you. Help me please.
If we knew
it earlier, would you live longer? Would we spend more memories together? I
know you want to live longer as much as we want to. I remember every morning
you ask me, “Kim, when will I got my medicine? When will I be well enough?
I really want to be healed.” - I
actually got annoyed and irritated because you always say it countless
times but what I did was ignore you. What can I do? I am not a doctor.
It pinched me when I can’t do nothing to ease your pain. Nothing’s OK anymore,
Pa. My life had just changed enough. I’ll be living this world incomplete.
I know that you always say to everyone how proud you are to me as your “princess” but I would like to know that I am prouder to have you as my Papa.
You truly
are the best. I can’t thank you enough for putting up with me. You have always
been kind and understanding, and I thank you for that. Thank you for being my
#1 supporter in all of life’s adventures. I promise to incorporate all your
teachings. Thank you for giving me the most amazing childhood, for treating me
your “princess” up until on your last breath. Thank you for all your hardships
just to build this family. Thank you for being the best DAD that everyone will
wish to have; and not only to us – your kids, but to our friends too.
I will always be grateful and thankful that He
gave you to us. We will forever treasure “JOHN THE GREAT” and keep you in our
hearts.
I love you so much and I will get up one day soon and carry on, and
make you prouder.
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| Our Last Family Picture together. |
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